The Muppette Man

Snoring safely beside him Ms. Piggy couldn’t be more delighted with her husband’s success and has gone on to open her own line of clothing “Porc”.  The two were wed soon after the Supreme Court’s decision to extend marriage rights to consenting species of any kind.  A tremendous victory for attorneys Gonzo & Rizzo.

“I just thought to myself, I’ve been sleeping away my life” says Kermit, whom had been known on the set as a bit of a Muppette man.”


[The band pit in a theatre on Broadway, for a new John Cameron Mitchell Rock Opera “Puppet Holes”]

“I mean, you know, the ladies were just attracted to him,” –Janice of Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem  “he was so cool, you know- to the touch, and always a little slimy.  The Swedish Chef had a thing for his legs, but, I mean, who didn’t?  Bunsen said if you lick him you ‘trip your balls off’ or something.  I think that’s why Beaker’s so fucked up.  But that just made him more badass.  Kermit would come over to the sound pit between takes and we’d just, you know… I mean, everyone, everyone was doing frog back then.  Those were the days right?”

But not all was right for The Muppet’s biggest Star…


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