A few weeks ago, my roommate Margot and I began planning a joint birthday party, (I seem to do these a lot) and we were thinking up ideas. First we came up with a Yankee Swap, so we would each be assured at least one present, and it’s fun. Then we came up with a Gender Swap. And something inside of my screamed “YES!”
I can’t tell you where it came from, I’ve worn women’s clothes before, but mostly as a joke. My earliest cross dressing experience was probably when I was 7 or 8. My little sister was taking a bath and my little brother and I decided to do a runway style fashion show through the bathroom in her clothes. I still recall the pink with white polka dot bikini I sported, it was the highlight of the whole show. We couldn’t stop laughing. I had other notable fashion experiences, walking through a Christmas party with a small Christmas tree twig sticking out of my pee hole. Age 3, I was before my time. I was known for my Pillow Man appearances, dressed in nothing but a simple pair of whitey tighties and a pillow on each limb and head. Mugatu later used my design in his runway show “Soirée Entre Slumbere”. Trendsetter? You might say, I was just ahead of the game.
These days when I’m not wearing all black in mourning for the Theatre, I’m usually seen in the beard cafes and climbing gyms of Tarzanique. Talk about chest hair. But seriously folks, when Margot approached me about being a woman, I couldn’t say no. I had done Tyresius before, and played “The Mysterious Mustachioed Lady in Crossdressing Threesome of the Century” but who hadn’t? I knew this was my chance. I said yes, and that day began folicle purging. I’m happy to say three weeks later the operation is complete, sure my genitals have been disambiguated, but let’s be real here, they were never that ambiguous to begin with. I took the leap and now on the other side of FABULOUS. And I fucking love it. From here on out this bitch is gettin’ it.
So drum roll please:
So what do I want for my birthday?
Tell me about that time that you felt fucking fabulous. When you looked fucking fabulous. Hell post a picture of that fucking fabulous you. I sure as hell did.