Another Mysterious Letters from 3 at a Table

How does your process

Did you hear about the lady who has been waste-free for two years?

Does that mean she doesn’t poop?

How does your process

He pushes, but a part of me wants him to push me harder

Push me further,

as though I’ve caught myself in cellophane and just need a good push,

to breach me forward.

I want to sing

Sweeten me up some will you Candy Crush

I’m in love with a Video Dame

She bakes latkes late on the lake mostly only grey rainy days

Village in screens of more fiends with most screams

She be a walk-on on a scene, party, right between my knees

So we started with the squeeze, potty talkin’ bout nice cheese

Now you’re running from your dreams, regrets creepin’ in your sleeps

Why didn’t you ever call her?

You wonder why you didn’t try

How to top when you were at the bottom

Stay with the bottom

Yeah she got a bottom

Booty callin’ some bottoms

Bum telephonin’ about some bunsdoggin’

It’s a race to the finish,

You don’t come in in second

You come in 5th at least

Least, that’s how a gentleman does.

Or first, first is acceptable, you can come first

I perfectly understand, when you’ve had a hard day of work

And all you want to do is come home all over your significant other’s rump muffins

The ladies round these here parts do

We talkin’ about Sweet Italian Sausages and Sweet Home Cherry Pie

So pick yoi poison, theys both sweet.

We remarked that maybe over time some of us would travel at lightspeeds, that we would, over time,

What if anyone else had been sucked into that blackhole?

How was it that-

How might time function at the center of a blackhole?

I don’t write much Mr. G.

Not too much more than not nearly enough

I’ll take my D

Flat-ly telling him why it’s better that I pass his class, because as I had done empirically none of the work aside from partial attendance, but as it was a politics class, empiricism was off the table. It would haunt him til the eve of tomorrow, the 25th, of November, 2014, that he could have argued for a C. Now he wasn’t even mostly a B student, English always enjoyed him, when present. Mathematics aren’t really his style you might say. Total asshole at parties, but everyone loved the guy, we don’t talk about him anymore, not after what Trish was saying, Geez, what’s a gal gotta do ‘round here?

He mumbled a lot and never gave the ghost anyway, anyhow a pal of mine knows this chim chat fellow in Montreal, turns out The Ghost is munchin’ the white waves with a paddle. Drinks only from giant wine bottles. A mammoth of a man, if a man were a mammoth, but just a man if you’re lookin’ for a man. I don’t see too well these days and I can’t distinguish the two. But don’t let me know you know about Peter, or I’ll have to twist those wrists off, now you just hand over the wristwatch, and for my trouble, let’s say, the hat, the coat the wallet too. Yeah, don’t forget about that. Here we go. Ahhh, Now don’t give me that look, or I’ll have to take those shoes too.   Not so bad, think about how alive you’re feeling right now, I’m not gonna kill ya, you’re gonna kill yourself and I just wanted a little blanket while I watched the action start. Press Play man.


Press Play

Alright, I’m gonna pause,

What? What is it?

I just don’t like the attitude you’re taking with me about the remote control, this whole movie you’ve been trying to seduce during a movie, I don’t want to be seduced, I don’t want to have sex right now

Then why did I order porn?

Granny’s Interracial Gangbang 5 is a modern work of art, and a treasure to behold.

I don’t contest that.

You’re telling me you’re in granny porn,

Well, if it works, it works,

If I was 60 years older- she’d still be working. And she’d bang the shit out of you

I should be so lucky.

Too bad I’m only 25, prime of my life

It’s a shame, that’s what that is.

Have you ever swallowed a butt hair?

Like in my mouth?


Yea, like all the time.


I could do a sad face,

The sad clown

I could make a real face

I could make a real sound

At once with marked haste,

At one in the moment, pitch, space

Rubbing drowns together in infinite lovers

Finite lives in masterfully well played games

Never reaching the end,


measure for measure

divinely gilded pace, of the stars and elements of the night sky, a wind, hush, all around, floating by the leaves of yesteryear, and the dying of the trees. Sacrifice ancestors, in wooden home chopped and cut and carved and built into a wooden home, for those homeless of The Secret Tree.

They say that mud can stop a heart beat, it can catch your breath, and it’s everywhere. Sold in stores nation wide, all around the world, you can buy mud, or the ingredients to create it at home, online now too. But what they don’t tell you, is mud- can kill. And it will kill again, it’s only a matter of time.

39 dead in the Californian Mudslide

39 dead?

39 dead. And that’s only in California.




You want me to chill with 39 dead in California? Something is wrong with this country when people want me to forget my business, when lives are being taken.

It’s just a mudslide due, those things are delicious.

Yeah, I mean it sucks that 39 people have died in California Mudslide related incidents.

And who could blame Mudslide, some really weird shit has been happened to those people.

Yeah, you couldn’t’ve created those scenarios. That one guy that got fought over by pair of eagles, one got the upperhand and won the right to kill and eat that dude, it dropped him from like 80 feet. You could watch them eat him for hours, it was so grotesque and, and exciting. I mean wow.

Yeah thank god someone caught it on video.

Yeah, smartphones these days, that got that zoom now, and they’re pretty decent quality.

Great picture quality. The sound too was amazing. I want that soundtrack.


So what you’re saying is 39 people aren’t dead from a mudslide.

No they are, it’s just California Mudslide related incidents.

What a California Mudslide?

Well I’m glad you asked, because it’s basically a mudslide, but with a touch of avocado and cayenne pepper.

I’m in love. Wait… Is it good?


Yeah I’m so in love right now. Oh my god… Is it great?

It’s the best

unfucking believable


Yeah. It’s intense. You’ll dig it.

Cool… Really 39 people dead. Are they really that good?

They are.

Like crack.


But that’s not what kills them, it’s not like you’ve had too many mudslides and you kick yourself in the head with an Axe, but that happened to a lady. I’ve never been so drunk or detached from reality to think that someone was simultaneously winning the lottery and being struck by lightning while eating a macaroni sandwich, that’s not even a sandwich, some poor bastard saved up his pennies from the can he wiggles outside CVS and he buys himself a California Mudslide, like he was a mother fucker, he turns into a prince, imagines world peace and bought himself a lotto card that read 66666 because he practiced santanism at home but only while guests were over, which was odd because he lived mostly in used tents and cardboard boxes. Such a fucker was the dude.

…But yeah, California Mudslide is quite the ride.

Is that a tag line?

No but it should be. We should pitch that.

To who?

To Disney.

(intense thinking, hours pass by as he stares in though out into the forests, underneath the evergreens)

You ok dude?

Don’t worry about it, happens all the time has stopped for him and once he’s done time traveling he’ll have some beautiful answer for you.

No but really what going on with the rice krispie treats, are those up for grabs or?

They’re for the birthday party we’re going to later.

Who’s it for?


See brilliant and back already, what have you for us Dr. Lightspeed McQueen

I’ve just been warping again, back and forth, you’ll find me later in the pantry, looking for a book- don’t worry, it’s there, I’ve just to find it.

Ok. What’s your next trick?

Ain’t got none honey, I ain’t got nothin’ but honey dreams and pie.

Well Thanksgiving you found us, we’d just about eaten all our ankles off.

It’s a shame you started with the cuties.

Yes, well some of them may walk agan.

Thank god you’re still able bodied.

Oh you’ve no idea how able bodied I can be.

It was turning into the worst hour of my life, sitting next to perfection, or, more like really good enough, so I did what any rational honest loving man might do in that situation, I started to rub one out. Sure she says her pad and paper were to take notes, but from where I’m sitting I’m pretty sure she’s going for the hot student look and maybe I think, maybe she knows how much I’m into student porn. I love the Gangbang Granny’s collection, I’ve got the box set at home, which was crazy, when she found it the first time she was here. Instead I’m not grabbing titties but I am watching a pretty spectacular granny porn with dick in hand. Now you might call me a typical man for this, but I would put forth that men simply work on a different biological clock, the most portent of which is the Kid Clock, if we don’t get rid of our kids at least once or twice daily, you might get kids permanently, and they’ll grow inside of you and you have to have them removed, and it’s very painful, and the world is a bleak dark place, that no one oughta be around for but that’s just my opinion I’m not a reporter. But I don’t want to get into parenting politics here, no one likes to talk about dumb mom and dads, there’s a lot of them, it’s funny everyone says “no one teaches you how to be a parent” maybe we should. There’s a miseducation going on in this country today and we ain’t parentin’ right if we aren’t parenting together, if we aren’t teaching ourselves how to teach those so integral to understanding of ourselves

And she said you better get yo hit back

Cuz if you don’t get yo hit back, you don’t got no self respect, lettin’ people comin’ in here and smackin’ my baby, where he at? I’ll hit him if he’s gonna hit my boy.

Whoa, Tom, you’re monologue’ing

Like every great Comic Book ever does.

A magical place perhaps

No one reads your shit, and you gotta move those boxes of extras out of the bathroom.

Fine I’ll do it next week. What? I’m busy til Thursday with my new-

(2 together) ANNIVERSARY!

What’s happening? Why are you two acting like this?

Well I don’t think there is anything more to talk about- than

(the same 2 together) SHOES!

Oh my god these are my everything slippers, I wear them with everything

You’re so beautiful

And so drunk

For a white girl dressed like a homeless guy

Other way around honey


(the same 2 together) POST-OP!

Wow that looks really good. Why the (motions to mustache own mustache indicating the other’s)?

There’s nothing bold or new about this, but this is a Derelict original the Salvation Army picked them up.

They’ve been designing for years. Fabulous work, very fiscally sound even for a family 6 or more.


Is that a waterfall?

Yea the neighbros are doing shots and they project a waterfall on the back wall with the trickling of a mighty river. Odd them.

Yea, they weren’t wearing any boots.

Bad day for the mud.

It’ll getcha.

Mud does.

Got that their Artax.

Yep, and my mammy last Christmas, it was a hard winter.

Nothing but coming these days.

Coming all over everything, thick white blankets, spreading softly, slowly over naked mound and gnoll, gently, down upon mother’s face.

4 billion views on Red Tube, it’s the most viewed cumshot of all time, the Winter of 2022 the most nearly universally viewed video on the internet, would have to be the rabid cat hat dance. Just put a big hat on top of a small cat, it’s fun for whole hours.

You should watch it, it’s on my livestream.


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