(The Nonsense disappears in a flash, taking his chair in the audience as applause fills the air, sitting, so as not to disturb a person, puts on a chicken hat, never clucking, just watching, waiting for the show to go on, when all eyes shift to him, slowly and ever so carefully, curiously, they turn as they are want to do, just discoverin’ for themselves the man in the corner with a chicken hat on his head. Vandalinda on the camera finally starts to chime in
VanDalinda: That was good Michael, but we’re gonna need you to take it from your line “The Funny Thing about Windows”, we pretty much lost all the video after that but I think we got sound. Did we get sound Retro?
Retro: Yeah we got sound.
Vandalinda: We got sound, great. Great! We got sound. We’ll just take it from that line and start shooting.
Michael: But you’re supposed to be shooting, weren’t you just shooting?
Vandalinda: Rehearsing the shot, standard practice filmy stuff, you get the picture, had to line it up right, you know, frame it out, plan the picture, plan the picture, it’s the stuff of any great cinematographer. But great work-
Retro: Yeah, dude, great stuff, sounds great!
Michael: This is a live show. I just did my set.
Vandalinda: Yes, precisely, we’re at a live show at (insert name of theater) you’ve just come from a long day of napping and preparing for this shoot, they called your name and you came to the stage and performed Magic, Michael! Like any bachelorette party could dream of and you’re slightly stoned but you’re ready, you did those stretches and now you’re ready to give everything, Michael, give everything for the stage.
Michael: Wait seriously? You didn’t film any of this?
Retro: (looks at an audience member): he’s so method, staying in character, who does that?
Vandalinda: That’s right Michael, get angry with the camera man, he’s just doing his job, he can’t take anymore of this, but he’s got a wife and a family, and everyone thinks he’s kind of cool, most of the time, or so he likes to think. But you don’t care you’re a STAR! And nobody’s gonna get in your way, especially not some camera man who can only piss between the sheets and cry out at a vengeful god. Ok? That’s your motivation. Now, we’re gonna play back your audio for you so you won’t have to talk, just mouth all the words that you just said and we’ll be in great shape.
Retro: Dude you sound so fucking dope, Dude.
Michael: What the Fuck.
(Vandalinda turns to an audience member with the Clapboard)
Vandalinda: Nonsense Take 2 Scene 1 In which Dynaeris gets her boats
(Soldatious sings an aria, high, but within his range, operatic in style while the sound of planes flying and bombs dropping, never landing, fill the air. The room goes black with the projection of stars, very sparse and sporadic fill the room, A creature moves in, all in black, with a gapingmaw shining bright, laughing at it’s prey- the audience.”)
Let’s play a game.
(Lights come back on, Michael is in a full black costume with a puppet mouth in his hands, and speaks through the puppet)
Vandalinda: That’s a wrap people! Seriously, everyone, great job. Solid stuff. Ben, if you could show folks out in an orderly fashion. (Ben starts to usher people one at a time out of the theater into it’s halls.)